this story is so hard to read. It felt like I was reading thru what happened with my daughter. Why is 5th grade the age, how can kids be so cruel. If anyone should have been a bully it should have been my kid. God I was the biggest bitch in school. All of school. But not my kid. She was too nice, I thought, to everyone. She told us about the girls making fun of her, and at first I told her the same thing. Ignore them, kids are stupid. Fuck ’em. But it got worse and she told her teacher. The teacher didn’t do anything until I went to the school and told her I told my kid to punch that girl in the face. Its funny how fast a teacher will move then. She told me “you can’t tell your daughter that” all shocked. I laughed And told her, “No You can’t tell my daughter that, I can and did.” my daughter and her bully were in the principals office the next day. Done and on to the next school.
I stupidly thought middle school would be better. Big mistake. the bullying started again, and again. We would fix a situation and another would pop up. Eighth grade seemed to be the best grade. Her grades went up and stayed up she seemed better happier and not as moody. Until high school.
How can high school go so wrong. How could I have been so wrong. Starting a new school especially high school is hard. But when your child comes home hating life you figure well shit, new school, new people, she just has to get used to everything. There’s hundreds of kids at school how many of them actually care about what she is doing. Well it only really takes one. I never thought it’d come to what it did. Until it did. Reading thru Ryan’s story and seeing the suicide prevention tab hit me hard, all the Warning signs were there. Insomnia, broken relationship, failing grades. Looking back I feel stupid, how could I have thought it was just teenage moodiness, just my daughter being like every other teenage moody bitch in the world. I’m grateful my story doesn’t begin with the date of her death because I’m not as strong as Ryan’s dad. But to all parents who know your child is having problems with kids at school… Go to the school. Ask for help and don’t leave until they help. Raise hell. They have cameras in school now, find the kids hurting your kids and make them accountable. schools move a lot faster when you become a problem to them. They move a lot faster when your kid thinks suicide is the only decision, believe me they move like lightning, but don’t let it come to that. Don’t depend on others to help because most kids wont get involved. Help them, even if they don’t want it. Because suicide isn’t the answer and the aftermath of a voluntary hold on your child’s life is not something that is easy to come back from.